It's the Preachers Fault

If the preacher preaches for more than 20 minutes, he's long-winded. If his sermon is under 20 minutes, he doesn't study and prepare.

If the preacher delivers a thundering loud sermon, he's overdramatic. If he talks in a normal tone of voice, he's dry and boring.

If the preacher makes home visits to his members, he's too intrusive. If the preacher doesn't make home visits, he's selfish and doesn't care.

If the preacher is older than 50 years of age, he's too old and can't relate to the young people. If the preacher is younger than 50 years of age, he's too young and lacks experience.

If the preacher talks about finances, he's greedy and is only in it for the money. If the preacher doesn't talk about finances, it's his fault the church budget isn't balanced.

If the preachers is alive, then the pastor down the road is a better preacher, teacher, and counselor than he is. If the preacher is dead, he was the greatest pastor a town could ever have.