When Laughter Needs Permission
You ever notice some folks can't enjoy a good laugh unless they're the one delivering the punchline? Everything's funny when they're cracking jokes, but let somebody else bring the humor and suddenly it's "inappropriate" or "out of line."
I've watched parents do this to their own children. Kid sees something genuinely funny and starts laughing—innocent, pure joy—and gets shut down with a harsh look or a rebuke. "That's not funny." "Stop being silly." "Act like you got some sense."
Here's the truth: it's about control. When you can't allow others—especially children—to experience joy that you didn't orchestrate, you've made yourself the gatekeeper of happiness. That's a dangerous place to be.
The Bible says, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine" (Proverbs 17:22). God gave us laughter. It's a gift. He didn't just tolerate joy. He designed it, ordained it, and blessed it. The Preacher tells us there's "a time to weep, and a time to laugh" (Ecclesiastes 3:4). When God delivered Israel, Scripture says "Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing" (Psalm 126:2). God Himself promises to fill our mouths with laughing and our lips with rejoicing (Job 8:21).
Laughter belongs in a life lived under God's blessing. When we control every bit of fun in our homes, we're not protecting righteousness—we're feeding our own ego.
Now, I'm not talking about crude or ungodly humor. There's plenty we should guard against as believers and as parents. We correct humor that mocks and tears down others—the Bible warns that "a froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends" (Proverbs 16:28). Anything sexually suggestive? Guard against it: "fornication, and all uncleanness...let it not be once named among you" (Ephesians 5:3). Don't allow God's name to be taken in vain or holy things to be made light of. And we sure don't laugh at sin or suffering.
But crushing your child's joy because you weren't the one who sparked it? That's not discernment. That's pride.
If your child laughs at the way a squirrel jumped, a silly rhyme they made up, clean slapstick comedy, the wonder of God's creation—and your first instinct is to shut it down—you need to check yourself. Their joy isn't the problem. Your need to control it is.
Think about a home where Dad laughs at his daughter's silly joke about the dog. Mom delights in the innocent humor her son finds in God's creation. The youngest child giggles at something simple and gets a smile, not a scowl.
That's a home that reflects the freedom we have in Christ. There's order without oppression, reverence without rigidity—real liberty under the lordship of Jesus.
The Bible tells us the wisdom from above is "gentle, and easy to be intreated" (James 3:17). A home ruled by godly wisdom isn't brittle and controlling. You'll see the fruit of the Spirit there: "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance" (Galatians 5:22-23). Joy. Right there in the fruit of the Spirit.
Let people laugh. Let your kids experience joy without walking on eggshells. Create a home where the Holy Spirit brings freedom, not where your mood determines whether joy is permitted.
God didn't make you the comedy czar. He made you a steward of the souls He's placed in your care.
Feeling convicted? Don't harden your heart. The Lord is showing you something. Repent. Ask your children for forgiveness if you've been crushing their spirit. Starting today, make your home a place where laughter—clean, innocent, God-honoring laughter—gets celebrated instead of policed.
Your children will remember. Was joy welcomed in your home, or did they have to hide their laughter from you? Which legacy are you leaving?