How We Learned to Lie Without Lying

We've gotten real good at not lying while still being liars.

We don't technically say false things—we just don't say all the true things. We withhold information. We tell half the story. We let people believe things we know aren't accurate, but we comfort ourselves because we didn't explicitly lie. And then—and this is the spiritual part—we baptize our deception with biblical language. We turn lies of omission into acts of "wisdom" or "discernment."

• "I was protecting them."
• "I didn't feel led to share."
• "The timing wasn't right."
• "I was being wise as a serpent."

Proverbs 12:22 puts it real clear:

Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

Notice it doesn't say "lying words." It says "lying lips." And lips can lie by what they leave out just as much as by what they let out.

The Devil Started with Half-Truth

Go back to Genesis 3. The serpent's craftiness wasn't just in what he said—it was in what he didn't say. In Genesis 3:5, he told Eve, "ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil." Technically true. She would know good and evil. But he left out the catastrophic cost of that knowledge. He omitted the shame, the exile, the death. He told her what she'd gain but not what she'd lose.

Half-truth, full deception.

We do the same thing. We explain what we did but not why we did it. We answer the question asked but ignore the question we know they meant to ask. And we call it wisdom when it's really just cowardice dressed in spiritual language.

"But I Was Being Discreet"

Here's where the spiritualizing gets thick. We convince ourselves that withholding truth is the same as being discreet or wise. But biblical discretion isn't about hiding truth from people who have a right to know it—it's about sharing truth with the right people at the right time in the right way.

Biblical discretion is Joseph not broadcasting his brothers' treachery to Pharaoh, or Paul not naming specific sinners in his public letters. It protects others; it doesn't protect our sin.

When you deliberately withhold information that would change someone's decision, damage their trust if discovered, or protect your reputation at the cost of truth—that's not discretion. That's deception. And you can't sanctify it by praying about it first. God doesn't bless well-prayed-over deception. He's not a rubber stamp for our fear.

Ephesians 4:25 doesn't give us wiggle room:

Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

Truth-telling is supposed to mark the body of Christ. Not truth-spinning.

Three Questions

Am I withholding this because sharing it would embarrass me or expose my sin? Then you're not being discreet—you're being self-protective.

Would the other person make a different decision if they knew what I'm not saying? Then your silence is manipulative, not wise.

Have I asked God to help me tell the truth, or just to help me avoid consequences? If it's the latter, you're not trusting God—you're trusting your ability to manage perception.

If you have to spiritualize your silence, it probably isn't godly. If you have to justify what you didn't say, you probably should have said it. And if you're withholding truth because you're afraid of the consequences, you're trusting your lies more than you're trusting your God.

Stop Lying and Watch What Happens

You start sleeping better. You stop living in fear of follow-up questions. You stop mentally rehearsing your story to keep it straight. You stop avoiding certain people because you can't remember what version of events they know. You stop living two steps ahead of exposure.

And you start actually trusting God with the consequences of truth instead of trusting your ability to manage perception.

Yes, sometimes truth is uncomfortable. Sometimes it costs you. But here's what it never costs you: your integrity before God.

Deal truly. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.